I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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