you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
