If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
