Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
