Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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