honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
