im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it because I queefed?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
