soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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