Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
