SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize