I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
