ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
