Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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