You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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