Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
