ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
