**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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