She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize