I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
