I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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