I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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