Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
