He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
