no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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