i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
