She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
