Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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