I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
