So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
