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he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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