Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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