So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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