my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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