Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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