Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize