just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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