she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
