Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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