I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
