so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
