I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
