i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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