It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
