Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
