return my video game
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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