He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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