I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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