Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
