i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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