What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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