as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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