:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
