i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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