I wanna bring you to show and tell
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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