1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
