why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
