I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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