So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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