when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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