I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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